Monday, October 5, 2009

this girl's imperfections are mad inspiring. I wish I knew her, but I'm also kind of glad I don't. It's nice that someone can inspire you who you've never met and know so few things about.

Today I started my internship, and later broke down. Being unemployed sucks in some ways mucho. In other ways it is positive. I>E. I can have all the physical therapist and other appointments I want. I have time to read and paint, take pictures and exercise. I had the time to study for the GREs and did well. That I am thankful for. I am also thankful that on the weekends I am not constantly dreading Monday. I am thankful that I don't have a Blackberry that gives me heart palpitations or bosses that I hate or work that is soul crushing. I love sleeping in and not wearing work clothes every day, and having time to get my apartment how I like it.

I don't like being alone most of the day. I miss A and K at work, and having people to eat lunch with and have invisible hula hoop contests. I miss having a sense of purpose, even one I didn't choose and didn't enjoy. I hate meeting new people and having to tell them I'm unemployed, and I hate the uncertainty of my life right now.

On the bright side my first paragraph is bigger than this one. And uncertainty's not the worst thing in the world. Right?